Embracing Reality: Learning to Accept What Is
- Joann Sanchez
- Sep 17, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 26, 2023
"The only power that you have in that situation is the power to choose how you respond." - How To Accept What Is (Without Surrendering Your Power): 10 Tips
Throughout my life, I’ve had moments where I reflect on teachings when things come into my awareness. This time, it was centered around a neighbor cutting down a tree to make way for a porch. I remember the discomfort I felt every time they turned on the chainsaw to cut more of the tree; it felt like I was being cut down.
I often communed with this tree whenever I took my dog out; it had been there since we moved into the neighborhood. The rush of its leaves brought me comfort, and its shadow was a fantastic place to sit under in the summertime. I remember those moments, but I also miss them.
It took some time for me to come to terms with it, but I reflected on the teachings of accepting what is - embracing reality. I need to understand what that meant to me. What does that look like for me? How do I best accept what is in a way that doesn't go against the grain for me? I realized that this resistance was causing suffering and disrupting my peace of mind.
Understanding Acceptance
To understand what acceptance is for me, I learned through experience that it is very similar to learning on the job; as they said, that experience is the best teacher. Sometimes, we don’t like it, but there it is.
After researching this topic to understand better what it means, it means acknowledging the reality of a situation without resistance or judgment. It means letting go of attachments to how things "should" be and embracing the present moment as it is.
For me, whatever their reasons, the tree was cut, and it won’t be coming back. I had to redirect my focus from the tree being cut down and choose to find other ways to connect with nature. I had to release my attachment to the familiar to admire the beauty around me.
Be it the birds soaring overhead. Bunnies hopping in the yard. Squirrels scurrying about or even enjoying an unobstructed view of the night sky. These are just a few ways I’ve expanded my connection with nature.
Learning Opportunities and Emotional Awareness
Through this awareness, I could pause and say wait a minute, where do I go with this discontent and upset I am feeling. This was a very subtle sense rather than getting knocked over by a two-by-four. Something within me hinted that I could grow, evolve, and learn from this moment. That there was a sense of mastery of my own experiences.
I took this as an opportunity to grow, learn, and evolve in embracing the flow of life, no matter what comes my way. To face it was grace, ease, and flow from head to toe. It doesn't mean avoiding negative emotions either; without those emotions, how else would we know what needs changing?
It doesn't mean approval, as I can tell you I disapprove of them cutting down the tree. I was judging them for cutting down this tree. Still, as I went on this journey, I learned that it doesn't require my approval or disapproval; instead, it's about accepting that things happen outside my control.
It also does not mean we have to like or condone every situation. It is about acknowledging the truth of what is happening and choosing to respond with grace and peace. Nor is a passive surrender, but an active choice to find resilience and grow amidst change.
The Impermanence of Life
This too shall pass; it is a reminder about living in the moment and appreciating what you have. Soak it all because one day, it might not be there. I can tell wholeheartedly that I was outside with my dog. I soaked up the presence of this grand tree. Enjoy the rustling of the leaves and its cool shade. I admire it as it reaches the heavens and wonder about its age.
"All of the pain and suffering, joys and sorrows, victories and defeats, even life itself - it will pass. Sooner or later, it will pass." - How To Accept What Is (Without Surrendering Your Power): 10 Tips
Life is ever-changing, and it is up to us to adapt and find peace amid it all. In other words, we can choose to react to things out of our control, or we can choose to respond to them. How does one go about doing that? Here are a few ideas to keep in mind. Remember, everything starts with the intention. What do you intend to experience?
Mindful Awareness
Sometimes, all it takes is to focus on the breath. Notice how much time it takes to inhale. Notice how much time it takes to exhale. Focus on the simple fact that breath is life. Notice the stillness between breaths. Connect with who you are and notice the world from that space.
Journaling
Write it down; whatever you are feeling, get it down on paper because you are clearing the mental space to receive the answers to whatever you are facing to bring a higher solution.
Give thanks for what you have, what you are doing to have, and what you will have for what you praise increases.
Meditation & Reflection
Ten minutes a day, take a moment to reflect on your experiences. Allow yourself to notice what you are noticing without judgment. In these moments of stillness, intend to choose something different that aligns with your intention. Choose it. Be it. Move from that space.
Cultivating Compassion & Kindness
Everyone has their journey, facing their challenges and struggles.
Understanding that not everyone is where you are consciousness and everyone is doing their best at the level of consciousness they find themselves in.
Forgive yourself for not knowing any better, and forgive others for the same thing.
Nature Connection
Spend time in nature regularly.
Notice the beauty and intricacy of the natural world around you
Find ways to foster a deeper connection with nature
Take moments to be present and observe the wonders of the natural world.
Using these tools, we can better navigate the ups and downs of life with greater ease, resilience, and peace, even in the face of challenging circumstances. Acceptance is about active choice in responding to those circumstances.
You are not denying that things are happening, but rather embracing that life is impermanent and cultivating peace amidst change. Life is a constant journey of growth and evolution, and acceptance is a powerful tool that reminds us to embrace the present moment as it is.
Empowerment and Response
To put it bluntly, it does not imply that people can escape consequences for their actions, which means that you are no one’s doormat. Instead, it is about being aware that in any given situation, we have the power to choose how we respond to things outside of our control by consciously choosing grace, ease, and resilience, which makes all the difference.
It is not about passive surrender but rather about creating a harmony between acknowledging those not-so-nice emotions when things come up and not allowing them to lead the way for us.
Instead, they consciously choose to respond differently to the circumstances. For example, if you are stuck in traffic, whatever the reason, you can curse the situation, or you can bless the situation.
Forgiveness and Finding Peace
“And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us.” - Matthew 6:12
Forgiveness is letting go of the shoulds, anger, or resentments for past grieves and mistakes towards ourselves and others. It goes a long way to smooth out the road to peace.
Holding onto resentments only prolongs suffering and prevents us from experiencing that peace of mind and body. Through forgiveness, we let go of the need for things to be different. It doesn’t make it okay, but through the present moment, we find peace in what is rather than longing for what could be or what was.
“You couldn't relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole--like the world, or the person you loved.”― Stewart O'Nan, The Odds: A Love Story
Articles
Comments